Deja Vu

Last night was the THIRD Saturday night we've spent in Pittsburgh!  As our routine here becomes more familiar, our lives away from it feel like hazy memories.  Personally, I bottomed out on Thursday and Friday.  I felt persistent anxiety about being away from the house and the job and was physically ill on Thursday.  But I somehow got over the hump and felt pretty good yesterday.

Today, we find ourselves in the same situation we were in THIRTEEN (?) days ago, anticipating Michael's early, early check-in at Presby.  It's familiar, yet different.  It's both good and bad that we know what to expect.  It's good that we can remove some of the unknown from tomorrow's procedures, but it's bad because we know what happened last time.  Do we write that off and assume everything will be fine this time or do we worry that something will go wrong again?

It's early on Sunday, but Michael SEEMS a little less worried about it than he did last time.  Fatigue may have set in.  We all just want it to be over.  Mari Ann is doing well, I think.  Of the three of us, she seems to exhibit her anxities the least.  I know she has them, but she expresses them verbally and doesn't really alter her behavior.  Michael and I take it out on each other (and her).

I also tend to forget why we're here.  For so long, I played nursemaid and tended to Michael's previous recovery.  But since Tuesday when he returned to "normal", I've lost sight of why we came in the first place.  Then I am suddenly reminded of it.  When Michael tries to take a pill and chokes, spitting up water and stumbling, then falls on the bed, I think, "Oh, yeah... he still has that pesky tumor in his head."  I feel like I haven't been as compassionate toward him as I should be.  Not only does he have the pressure of the upcoming surgery, but he's really still recovering from the other one and remains tired and weak.

Sleep has been mostly good.  We're all getting our eight hours, at the least.  It's ironic that we can be as rested as we can be tonight, but nothing will prepare us for our 4:00 am wakeup call.  If it's like last time, though, it's oddly energizing for me when Michael is in the hospital.  Of course, I'm nervous and constantly wondering how it's going for him, but it also gives me a purpose for being here.  That's when I can be most useful, not feeling guilty for trying to pass time by going to movies and comic book shops.

Speaking of which, here's how we've been passing time since last I wrote...

I failed to mention Michael's birthday dinner Tuesday night.  A co-worker of his recommended an old college hangout called Essie's Original Hot Dog Shop.  The hot dogs were fair at best, but I've never seen a bigger basket of delicious french fries.  Not a very fancy birthday meal, but it's what Michael wanted.

On Wednesday, I guess we had to recover from the excitement because I don't recall that we stepped foot outside of Family House.  This may have been one of the nights that volunteers prepared dinner for the residents.  Or it may have been the evening of the tree trimming party.  All I know is that as soon as Mari Ann stocked our groceries, someone else began preparing our meals.  If you've ever wondered what it must be like to live in a nursing home, with communal dining and "special activities", I can tell you all about it.  Mostly, it's just humbling to be on the other end of charity for once.

On Thursday afternoon, we ventured back to the Waterfront area for a movie and a little shopping.  I saw Wreck-It Ralph and Michael and his mother saw The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which I had already seen in Kansas City.  I expected a little more from an animated movie that actually caused my brother to cry at the end; however, this was the day I was ill, so it didn't have the same effect on me.  And it reminded me that the novelty of beautifully-animated movies may have worn off.  To me, they now seem to be a genre among themselves, not just because of the kind of movie, but because of the characters, the stories and the "patterns" within them.  They're all starting to feel the same.

On Friday afternoon, I explored Steel City Con in Monroeville, only 15 miles away, but nearly an hour's drive with rain, accidents on the highway and getting just a little bit lost.  For those of you in Kansas City, this was very much like our annual Planet Comic Con; however, it was lighter on comic books and heavier on toys, new and "used".  I love their tagline, "The Pittsburgh Toy, Comic and Childhood Collectibles Show".  Being closer to the East Coast, I feel like there were toys here that I never knew existed.  There were certainly non-sports trading cards that I never knew existed.  Unfortunately, while I have access to my online comic book inventory via iDevices, I have no such way to check my trading cards or monster magazines.  Since I cannot trust myself to not invest in something I already have, I spent only $10 on a DVD, a documentary about Britain's Amicus Films.

The convention was next door to the Monroeville Mall, where George Romero's classic Dawn of the Dead was filmed.  I wanted to take a peek, but I overheard there was a zombie museum inside, so I parked and went inside.  Hidden in the back of the mall's arcade, the museum had just closed for a bit, so I did not get to enter.  I wasn't too disappointed because behind the gate looked more like mini-golf than museum, although there are some cool pictures online.  I snapped some pics of the mall, but haven't seen the movie in so long, I don't know if they're familiar.  I will say there's something eerie about it.  Imagining it in the 70s, with it's rectangular layout and evenly spaced escalators, it's frightening, even without zombies.

Dawn of the Dead-1978 (left) vs. 12-7-12 (right)

Dawn of the Dead-1978 (left) vs. 12-7-12 (right) 

Yesterday, Michael and I headed the other direction (west) for an exhausting excursion to IKEA.  Normally a pleasure to meander through, we ate too many Swedish meatballs ahead of time and quickly grew tired.  We got some kitchen ideas, but the only other thing we got was frustrated.  Cutting our trip short, we returned to Family House to rest.  Then, while Mari Ann went to church at 6:00, Michael and I finally investigated the neighborhood video bar.  It was very nice, reminding us how pitiful the bars in Kansas City are.  It's our own fault; the community doesn't seem to support a nice bar.  The closest thing to this would be Bistro 303, but 5801 Video Bar & Cafe was probably three times the size and much more comfortable for relaxing and having a cocktail.  Which, of course, we did not, because of Michael's pre-op ban on alcohol and my solidarity for his condition.

We then picked up a pizza and returned "home" for a rousing game of Uno, where "sore loser" Michael ultimately beat me and Mari Ann by nearly double our points.  (By the way, Chicago needn't fear a culinary threat from Pittsburgh; the 16" Sicilian was all right for a pizza made by Middle Easterners, but we were happy to place our leftovers in the common area of the kitchen for others to enjoy.

Talk about new routines, today is laundry day!  Gonna do a couple loads then head out for one more movie before we're incapacitated for the upcoming week.  Probably Anna Karenina.  Mari Ann really wants to see it, but I'll have to tell Michael that Aaron Johnson is in it to squeeze any interest out of him.  (He's a new favorite actor of mine.  He's been mesmerizing to me in Nowhere Boy, Kick-Ass and Chatroom.)

As a perfect way to tie all this together, on our way to IKEA yesterday, we passed through a long tunnel out of Pittsburgh and into the 'burbs.  Michael mentioned ladies at his movie on Thursday talking about a tunnel used in The Perks of Being a Wallflower for a scene where the characters drove through, one of them standing up in the back of a pickup.  He knew, but I somehow only then realized/remembered, that it was filmed in Pittsburgh.  So now we have Dawn of the Dead and The Perks of Being a Wallflower filmed here, as well as the U.S. version of Queer as Folk and who knows what else.  I don't know how I missed the opportunity, but perhaps I need to do some more research and go on a "movie tour" of Pittsburgh.  We'll see how Michael recovers.  As much fun as that would be, I'd gladly sacrifice it for some marching orders to return home...